The Bushgang Blog

One year ago today, several things came to an end: Stephanie's fight with cancer, her ability to raise Levi day by day, and our marriage of more than 19 years. BUT, several things came to pass as well: Stephanie now experiences the love of our Heavenly Father in ways we can only dream about and hope for, I have a new, more experienced way in which I view and process life, and we all are better off for having known and reflected on the person that Stephanie was here on Earth and in our lives. I share with you today a poem (if you can call it that) I wrote in early 2011, about a month after Stephanie's death. As I look back on the last year and reread this poem, there is much to see. The piece that stands out to me now is the analogy I used about a forest fire. The hope they lay just beneath the surface then is now in full bloom. Levi and I have been blessed with a new beginning that promises to grow into a thriving, green forest, rich with love and experience for as long as Go...

It has been almost 7 months since I last posted an update. WOW! I can't believe it has been that long...which translates into quite a lengthy update. I will consolidate by giving the main highlights. If you want more details (and many of you just may), you know where to find me! :-) LOCATION We officially moved to Jacksonville, FL on March 26th, 2011. By we, I mean Levi, my mother and father, and me. We stayed in a furnished, corporate apartment for 3 months while I built a new home for us all to move into. We then moved into the new house on July 1st, 2011. LEVI Levi started pre-school and soccer last week. He is enjoying school but still looking for some new friends. We don't have any neighbors around our house, so he has only had a short amount of time to get to know anyone his age. I'll keep everyone posted but the only name he knows from school besides his teacher is a little girl named, Katy. Go figure! That kid is already going to be a ladies man... KEVIN Fo...

This year I have decided to walk 60 miles on behalf of my wife, Stephanie. She had a passion for this event and all it represented to survivors and their families. It will be an emotional journey for me and the rest of my team, The Hopefuls. Our team captain, Stephanie, is now watching down from above as we fight the good fight and take every step in remembrance of her, in the hope of Jesus Christ, and in making progress towards a cure for breast cancer! When I came to this site to write this information, Stephanie's note was already prepared. I chose to leave her words below. Please read it when you have a moment. Thank you for your time and donation! - Kevin ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ This year, I'll be participating in a very special event called the Breast Cancer 3-Day. I'll walk 60 miles over the course of three days with thousands of other women and men. The net proceeds will support breast cancer research, education, screening and treatment through Susan G. Komen for...

The day I feared the most in my life has come. My soul mate, my lover, my life partner, my flesh, my best friend, my better half and my blessing took her last breathe of air at 3am yesterday morning. I was lying beside her and she was at peace. No more pain, no more worry and no more sadness. It is a strange feeling to be so happy for her victory yet feel the pain of loss that has torn me from my mind, through my heart and into the depth of my soul. Stephanie, I love you so much. I know I told you that all the time but I wanted to tell you once more in public. You are the most amazing lady I have ever seen and your thoughts and actions were the same in front of friends, strangers, and at home in our private moments. You were my inspiration and will continue to be for as long as we are apart. I can't wait to see you again my love. Father God and Lord of my life, I cannot begin to express the thankfulness I have towards you for giving me such a wonderful gift. It is sometimes har...

Let me first say that the people that are surrounding us with thoughts and prayers are a huge blessing! My request right now is simple but will require a little extra on each person's part. I am struggling with knowing that Levi may grow up without really knowing who is mother is or was to everyone. Instead of flowers, cards or messages, I would greatly appreciate hand written notes that express what Stephanie has meant to you. I would like to read them to Stephanie and collect them in a book for Levi. You can mail them to: 4116 Amhurst Dr. Highland Village, TX 75077 Thank you all in advance! Kevin

UPDATE: Stephanie is home, laying next to me in bed this evening. She has no immune system left. Her white blood cell count this morning was 0.3 and the doctor said she would no longer benefit from chemo. His words, "I don't believe she will be with us much longer." Seeing her deteriorate from Thursday through today, I guess it was expected news so I took it well, all things considered. We now have hospice care at home 24 hours a day with the goal of making her comfortable. My heart is broken and I am on my knees. My love of 20+ years has put up an amazing fight. Honestly more than I ever thought humanly possible. Please pray for her comfort and for the strength for her family to carry on. I'm not sure what else to say. Thanks to everyone showering us with love. It does help!

Ever heard the phrase, "Here we go again"? Well, that's our story too. We got word last Thursday that Stephanie's cancer has returned yet again. This makes for the third recurrence. The results showed that the lymph nodes in her abdomen are enlarged again, the spleen is enlarged and there is another lesion on the liver. The good news in all this is that we are in a good place, leaning on God and knowing that things are going to work out. The chemo Steph had last time around worked very well and she will be getting the same drug this time with an additional little mix of something (Taxotere like before and Carboplatin for the detailed folks reading). First appointment for chemo is tomorrow, December 7th at 9:30am. Prayers and text messages are always welcome. Please let her know you are praying or that you are just thinking about her. I'll keep everyone posted through Facebook and through this blog. Keeping your finger on the pulse of the situation is best do...